Posted in Friday Finds

Messages to our daughters

I can’t tell you how many different ways this makes me sad. While my daughters grew up, I dieted incessantly. I stepped on the scale daily — at least. I kept logs and charts on my weight, menus listing points and calories. It was not a body positive household. And the messages I learned were passed to me from my mother.

In their teens, as my schedule grew to include a career, there was less time for meal planning, point counting, and self-loathing. I finally learned to love my beautiful self. I can only hope they absorbed some of that message, too, and maybe even restored some of the damage.

As Mother’s Day approaches, it’s my wish that every mom can see herself as the beautiful life-giving Goddess she is. We should all see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us most. After you’ve watched the first Dove video, check out this one from Dove, too.

 

How do you describe yourself?

Peace . . .

Posted in Lore

What Really Makes You Beautiful

Have you ever changed the way you felt about a song you liked after listening to the lyrics?  That happened to me with this song.

I don’t want to go into a full rant on this song, because I really do get what they are saying.  Girls who know they are beautiful and use it to manipulate boys aren’t beautiful.  Girls who like to make other girls jealous and steal their boyfriends are just ugly as heck.  Girls who walk into a room and expect all the attention are really just boring.  I get that.

I hope I’m not the only full-grown adult admitting that I liked that song.  It’s not going to find its way onto my playlist, but it’s a toe-tapper, okay?  Well it still gets my foot tapping, but now, after really listening to the message, my head is shaking and there’s this sneer on my face.

Let’s start with the title:

What Makes You Beautiful

It reads like a Teen Mag headline.  This is a tutorial.  Listen up, girls.  This is what will make you beautiful to all the cute boys like the ones in 1D.  Here’s the first suggestion:

You’re insecure.

Oh. My. God.  Do I really have to explain how dangerous this is to those little 14-year old female psyches?  YES!  They are insecure.  Now these teen-idol brats are telling them it’s alright to stay that way.  All that crap their parents have been dishing out like, “You can do it!”  “Stand up straight!”  “Be proud!” can go right out the window, because they just danced around their bedroom to a song telling them they are sexy-hot hiding in the corner.

I will avoid going through every single lyric to save you the monotony, and some of them are arguably good:

Don’t need make-up,
To cover up,
Being the way that you are is enough

Girls don’t need make-up, but most like to experiment with it.  And like most experiments, something is going to blow up now and then.  Most women find a happy-place with their cosmetics eventually.  I wouldn’t go as far as to say girls should or should not wear make-up.  That is a personal decision, and sometimes a moral decision they make with their parents.  But I agree that no one NEEDS make up.  

But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell

They are singing about someone who smiles at the ground.  This is a girl with serious confidence issues.  Are they going to say how smart she is?  Are they going to say what a great addition she is to the track team?  No.  What are they going to say next?

Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe,
You don’t know,
Oh, oh,
You don’t know you’re beautiful,
Oh, oh,
That’s what makes you beautiful

Oh HELLS no!  They are going to tell her that the fact that she is such a limp little wallflower is what flips their switch.  The fact that you think you have nothing to offer?  That’s exactly what makes you beautiful.

What I have learned in my short fifty-some years on this planet I learned rather late; somewhere around the forty-fifth:

What Really Makes You Beautiful

Intelligence
Self Awareness
Inner Strength
Sharing Peace
Self Worth
Eye Contact
Being Genuine
Humor
Confidence

And . . . Knowing You’re Beautiful

..~~*~~..

That’s what makes you beautiful

Peace . .

 

Posted in Lore

Just The Way I Am

There was a WordPress daily prompt some time ago asking what one would say to one’s 14-year old self.  The prompts make me think, and maybe one of these days I will even join in.

This particular prompt I found very intriguing.  In the days that passed, I found myself thinking more about it.  No answer to the question really moved me, until this morning.  I felt like listening to music, and I set my iPod to play anything it damn well wanted to.  The first song that came up was Bruno Mars, Just The Way You Are.

I was already looking in the mirror, and smiled at myself.  I hadn’t realized how seldom I see my own smile.  That’s not to say I don’t smile, but I rarely do it genuinely in the mirror.  The way my eyes lit up and the lines turned to joy surprised me.  It has taken a half of a lifetime to accomplish, but I do like myself just the way I am.  I thought about my young self, sans the fine lines of the years, with soft, silky hair, stronger, nimbler.  How did that young girl lack appreciation for her beauty?  Where was her confidence in body and spirit?

I thought of singing that song to her . . . and my face turned to sorrow.  I cried for the love I should have given her; for the mental abuse she suffered from herself.  Lastly, I smiled for the long-overdue love I can now give this youngster, residing deep inside me.

Ignore the kissing the lips part, it’s just weird in this context.  And if my two daughters are reading this . . . Girls, you are amazing just the way your are . . .

Oh, her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they’re not shinin’
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She’s so beautiful
And I tell her everyday
Yeahh

I know, I know
When I compliment her she won’t believe me
And it’s so, it’s so
Sad to think that she don’t see what I see
But every time she asks me “Do I look okay? “
I say

[Chorus:]
When I see your face (face face…)
There’s not a thing that I would change
‘Cause you’re amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
And when you smile (smile smile…)
The whole world stops and stares for a while
‘Cause girl you’re amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
Yeah

[Verse 2:]
Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she’d let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think it’s so sexy
She’s so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

Oh you know, you know, you know
I’d never ask you to change
If perfect’s what you’re searching for
Then just stay the same
So don’t even bother asking if you look okay
You know I’ll say

[Chorus:]
When I see your face (face face…)
There’s not a thing that I would change
‘Cause you’re amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
And when you smile (smile smile…)
The whole world stops and stares for a while
‘Cause girl you’re amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you’re amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)

[Chorus:]
When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are