Posted in Lore

BOGOs. More Evidence that the World is for Twosomes

Instead of clipping, sorting, and filing newspaper ad coupons every week, I watch for coupons through member perks.  Everyone has a membership program these days.  I have three coffee shop apps that track my activity, send me coupons, and even let me pay, all on my phone.  Everyone from convenience stores to Chinese restaurants message me to stop in and pick up the latest special just for the trouble of showing them the text.  

Text coupons are convenient.  They don’t clutter up my purse.  I always have them with me.  There is nothing to throw out when they expire.  The problem?   Half of these coupons are BOGOs.


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Technically, I’m not a single.  I’m not married, but Bubba and I are a pair.  Two peas in the same pod.  I’d love nothing more than to take him out on one of my BOGOs and spend a lazy morning conversing over two cups of coffee, one of them free.  Except he doesn’t like coffee.  He doesn’t like hot chocolate, frozen blended drinks, or teas — neither hot nor iced.  The only thing he wants from my coffee shop is a muffin and a Coke.  And he doesn’t want to laze around watching the sun come up while eating his muffin.  No.  In fact if you blink, you might miss seeing him eat it at all.  So I happily go alone.

When my kids were in school, they sold coupon books for fundraisers.  My mom would probably have bought one, except they were mostly BOGOs and she was a widow.  When they were both alive, Mom was a loner, and had no problem seeing a movie or stopping for lunch by herself.    A BOGO would have gone unused even then.

I get what they’re doing.  They want your business, but they also want you to bring someone else.  That way they can get more add-on sales with food, beverages or desserts.  They’re also trying to double their pay-off for the marketing.  Except they are excluding half of their audience, so in a way I really don’t get it.

Cup of Caribou Coffee
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For Valentine’s Day, my coffee shop sent out a BOGO text.  I wondered how irritating that is to those who have no valentine, or for those who have loved and lost.  It’s not enough that I have to listen to those horrible diamond commercials on the radio.  Now I have to consider buying two small lattes in the drive-through, drinking them both on the way home.

How about they just give me a percentage off my entrée?  Or a free dessert?  What about buy a coffee, and get a free muffin?  Now that’s something Bubba could sink his teeth into.  Or swallow whole, whichever comes first.

Peace . . .