I try to find something to laugh about every day. Today it arrived by United Parcel Service.
My order of whatchamacallits came today. Amazon sent me three notifications telling me my order was on my doorstep. So I shouldn’t have been surprised to find three boxes waiting for me when I got home. I tried to remember what else I had ordered. Shortly after bringing them in the house, a UPS truck stopped by with one more. The fourth notification rang on my phone minutes later.
As the boxes were opened one by one, the situation was revealed to me.
I took the four whatchamacallits out of their individual boxes, stacked them and just to prove the point, slipped them into a single box with room to spare.
There are so many things wrong about this. Don’t get me started. Some days if you don’t laugh, you cry. So today I chose to laugh.
Peace . . .
I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
— Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Every year there seem to be some lingering decorations to put away long after the holidays have passed. Maybe that’s why it feels like Christmas is either coming or going. After all, there are only 293 shopping days left.
Peace . . .
What if dogs had hands? You know . . . with opposable thumbs and the whole nine yards.
Mostly likely they wouldn’t be practicing Chopin on the piano, or sharpening any craftsman skills. Picture toddlers that never grow up.
The first thing they’d do would be to go in-and-out-and-in-and-out all day long. They’d hear a dog bark and they would throw open the door, let it bang against the wall, and tear out into the yard barking — at any hour of the day or night.
There would be no training them to shut the door quietly, if we could get them to shut it at all. They wouldn’t be trainable at all, because they’d have free access to all the treats they could eat. I’d hold out a milk bone, command them to sit, and they’d look at me, walk into the kitchen, and grab a handful of chips. They’d walk over to the tv, flip over to Animal Planet, sit on the couch and mindlessly let the crumbs fall between the cushions.
Can you imagine trying to walk a dog who could reach up and detach their leash whenever they wanted to veer off the sidewalk? Instead of barking at the mail carrier through the closed door, they’d open it up and chase her down the street.
Then again, maybe they’d learn to throw frisbees and balls to each other and they’d stop nagging me. Maybe instead of waking me up in the morning to be let out and pour a bowl of kibble, they’d simply do it themselves. Maybe they’d actually get up and make a nice pancake breakfast with sausage and eggs for the whole family. Yeah . . . highly unlikely.
What would your pets do if they had hands?
Peace . . .
Walking in the door, there are two black wagging tails, four eyes looking up, and eight paws padding back and forth and jumping off the ground. Sabbie especially will jump and jump and jump, careful not to land against us, but unable to stay on mother earth. They wiggle and snort, sometimes pouncing on each other in their excitement. There are groans and growls, all to distract me from putting away my coat and purse.
It’s like watching the crowd at a Taylor Swift concert. In my dogs’ eyes, I’ve achieved celebrity status. I’ve arrived. I’m kind of a big deal around here.
If you walked into my house it wouldn’t be any different. I’ve seen the pizza delivery man get a pretty good reception too. So let’s all walk around this week like we’re a big deal.
Because we are. If only in the eyes of my dogs.
Peace . . .