speechless

I imagined starting off this post with all the reasons excuses I haven’t been writing. My computer broke. I’ve been crocheting. I have more. If you’re interested, just let me know. But I highly suspect you aren’t.

The truth is, I’m speechless. At a time when I feel like I should most find my voice, I’m embarrassingly mute. It’s not that I’m disconnected; quite the opposite. I’ve become a news junkie. I go to bed at night wearing wireless earbuds and wake up in the morning wondering what I missed after I fell asleep with them in. It’s that bad.

I’ve always maintained that I can’t change what goes on in the vast world, and so I’m just going to pay attention to those things that I can change. Someone’s day. My outlook. A corner of the garden. That worked for me because I believed, and still do, that the majority of people in the world are good. I believed things would all work out in the end because good conquers evil most of the time.

So now I’m a news junkie and I can’t claim blissful ignorance anymore. I understand that the good majority is poor, and that money buys the world. And what does one do when her voice is small and peaceful in a world that is screaming injustice at the top of its lungs?

I became speechless.

It’s not that I have nothing to say. It’s just that there are others saying it so well and so loud with all the best words. (That’s funny, right?) I can’t compete. Nor should I. Just because I have opinions on the news doesn’t mean I ought to write about it. That’s like somebody who admires and critiques art feeling guilty for not painting.

In the words of one of my favorite millenials, I need to do me. And if my voice is small and peaceful and speaks of wholeness, balance and love, there’s room for it. And maybe someone will hear it and smile. Because if all I do today is make someone smile, that’s enough.

I’ll never rid the world of injustice, prevail over all evil, or move millions to march. But I am enough. For that one person who just needed a hug or a smile or to be seen, I am enough.

So maybe you’ll be hearing more of me again. But you may need to take out your earbuds and listen closely over the roar of the protesters.

33510704345_fa6938f705_o

So proud of the women my daughters have become. They love deeply. They think critically. And on this day we became not just mother and daughters, but women standing as one with millions across the globe against injustice, fear, hatred, and bullshit.

Peace . . .

Advertisements

About Jean

Trying to make sense of it all and . . . for the most part . . . doing it. View all posts by Jean

15 responses to “speechless

  • insearchofitall

    Good to see you here again, Jean. As a very old woman, there is even less I can do about the world. I agree with your philosophy that we must focus on the good and there is plenty of it. I have signed petitions and will do what I can to bring love and peace back into the arena. Your daughters are beautiful women and as the mother of one daughter, I see their kind hearts as a powerful tool. I don’t express myself politically on my blog, and have done little writing since the election. I find myself speechless as well. Welcome to the club. You are much more eloquent than I so I’m trusting the future is in the good hands of your generation.

  • dragonflyzia

    Welcome back! I don’t usually express my political beliefs unless something really angers me because like you said “what can I do about it?” I like the part about focusing on the good, I believe we need more of that….

  • Deb Ridgewell

    I heard an expression shortly after the election that we must all take it upon ourselves to “Love Louder.” I am trying to take that to heart in the midst of this chaos.

  • umbriascribe

    Oh Jean, it’s so good to see you again! You’ve hit the nail on the head. Lovely post and it’s great to see you with your beautiful daughters! I’m also speechless and haven’t done any blog writing because I don’t know what to write–there’s too much and too little to say. I try to stay away from the news because it’s still so frigging surreal. I have the “OST” syndrome that the Australians have pegged–things are going along fine for awhile when all of a sudden you realize “Oh Shit. Trump.”

  • Maddie Cochere

    Hi Jean! I think you’ve adopted a good attitude. I used to be a political/news junkie. News all day … and yes, earbuds at night. I suppose this went on for a good twenty years. I finally hung it all up, and I been better for it. I’ll do what I can if/when I need to, and I’m not completely oblivious to what’s going on in the world, but I try to focus on family, friends, and writing. I switched to podcasts at night – a consumer advocate, a lawyer, and people who interview other authors. I do still like to listen to something at night. 🙂

  • Vid Digger

    Just wish a few friends concentrated on what’s right instead of spreading the latest story… specially on Facebook.

    No more about their lives, just what’s going on in the world 24/7.

  • KerryCan

    I’ve had a hard time finding things to say in my blog, too! All my ramblings about textiles and making stuff have seemed pretty lightweight, given the state of the world . . . and I’m spending too much time following the news and getting worked up. Yet, the world needs beauty and the peace and inspiration that come with it more than ever right now so I keep trying. And we need women like you and your daughters–carry it on!

  • Lois

    I’m finally withdrawing again from news. After the election I found myself waking each morning wondering what I missed and at the same time fearing seeing the latest news. I didn’t watch or read anything the rest of the day just that impending doom that made me check if the world was still spinning upon waking. What a horrible way that was to wake up.

    At the same time the events going on silenced my voice as well. I didn’t want my blog to become political yet I found the fears overwhelming me and resulted in not being able to find anything interesting I wanted to write about. Trying to move beyond that now.

    Your daughters are beautiful. How wonderful to have daughters to share your concerns with.

    • Jean

      YES! I really don’t want to become political on my blog. I had to decide that I could separate it from my writing. I don’t have a practiced political voice, and I want to leave that to those who do. I still listen, though. I make sure I get some unbiased news every day. It’s out there — you just have to seek it out. Because while it’s fun to listen to your preferred news, if the whole crew gets on the same side of the boat, it’s going to capsize.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: