Posted in Lore

My Biological Clock Takes a Licking and Keeps on Ticking

Make no mistake.  I gave birth to four wonderful children, and that is quite enough.  I am elbows deep in menopause, and the last thing on my mind is having another.  But today I heard a strange ticking . . .

At a restaurant, a little boy came out of the restroom with his dad.  His mom was our server.  He said, “Mom!  I go poo-poo!”  On their way out, he walked up to another table and told them, “We’re going to the park!”

I found myself wanting one just like him.  Not for keeps, of course.  Just for the day, or the hour, or an overnight.  What I am looking for, of course, is a grandchild!

. . . tick, tick, tick . . .

Other women before me have mentioned this deep yearning.  To be honest, I thought they were crazy.  Hormonal voices of people with nothing better to do than spoil one of their unsuspecting offspring’s children.  How can you be “ready” to have a grandchild?

. . . tick, tick, tick . . .

The dogs and gardens satisfy my urge to nurture, protect, and keep something alive.  I certainly have enough to keep myself busy between work, errands, home maintenance and self-preservation.  What then, am I missing?

As a grown up, I have expectations.  I can’t go around saying poo-poo in my outside voice at a restaurant.  I can’t go up to strangers and tell them what I get to do next, much less expect them to get excited with me.  I can’t scream when I’ve had enough of the grocery store, and I can’t stare at people who look interesting.

. . . tick, tick, tick . . .

I miss having someone around who experiences all those things in an honest, whole-hearted, genuine way.  Little children remind me of the person I want to be.  I want to cry hard, laugh till I can’t breathe, and fall asleep anywhere.  I want to learn new things.  I want to cry and throw a tantrum when it’s time to go to work.  I want to see the wonder in very simple things.

. . . tick, tick, tick . . .

I want to play on the rocking pig . . .


. . . okay, so maybe I’m just looking for a buddy on the playground . . .

. . . tick, tick, tick . . .

Peace . .




Trying to make sense of it all and . . . for the most part . . . doing it.

18 thoughts on “My Biological Clock Takes a Licking and Keeps on Ticking

  1. I am not ready for grandchildren yet …however, up until a few years ago I kept having baby lust. I’d see a little one and think to myself….just one more….one. Ahhh, I am past that point for sure…and in truth, my 1 keeps me busy enough lol.

    So … do any of your children know you are … waiting? *smiles* … I love that you want to have little ones around.

    1. I suppose if they read this, they will now! Ah, my youngest and I had a conversation about how she is ready to be an auntie, and I told her I am ready to be a gramma. All in good time . . .

  2. You ever notice how little kids are often potbellied? I understand that this is hecause they are unstressed. Stress is stored in the abdomen and it affects correct breathing, even. Just thought I’d add that to your list, Jean. \m/

  3. This made me smile! As the oldest grandchild I had to wait forever for cousins. Now my kids are 17 and 15 and my nephews are 6 and 8. My cousin is finally pregnant and she is only 3mos today and I have been buying things already. There is something special about a baby you can hold,sniff,spoil, and return the minute the crying starts….I can’t wait. I wish many beautiful grandbabies for you to snuggle with. 🙂

    1. If my siblings and I were closer, I’d have those great-nephews and -nieces to cuddle up to. I am the youngest by far, and there are no little ones I can “borrow.” Hold, sniff, spoil, and return. I have to remember that!

  4. When my first grandchild was on her way I didn’t have the yearning to be grandma, but having the grandchildren has brought more fun into my life. They notice things I forgot to pay attention to, they make me feel young again. I understand how you feel today, completely. Hope you find a little one to play with soon.

    1. I was at a party yesterday, and a little boy with a scuff on his nose was saying “bye” over and over. When I said “bye” back to him, he puckered up, so I went in for the kiss! The he said, “Wub you!” And I told him I loved him too. We were both completely gratified by the experience!

  5. I do so love kids and grandkids! Their energy, innocence, fun, love for everything and everyone, just so infectious! I am blessed with 3 children and 6 grandchildren (2 that are stepgrandkids, in name only! Loved as much as the rest!) But I had my menopause at 40 and really wanted one more, just one baby powdered, fresh from the bath, sweet baby of my own… but the wait was only for about 9 years till grandson #1; so it was worth it!

  6. I too, know that yearning. I sure hope somewhere along the way it’s fulfilled. My children didn’t get to have children so I borrowed where I could. For some of us, that need to see through a childs eyes never goes away. My last husband had many grandchildren and I was there when most were born. What a delight it was. Maybe I can volunteer at the hospital nursery. Hmmm.

    1. Borrowing is a good idea, and such a gift to the parents! Maybe I should think about volunteering at the hospital nursery. That’s a good idea, actually!

  7. Jean, this made me laugh! I have a 4-year-old granddaughter who lives in Texas. She will be here in August to stay with us for two weeks. I can’t wait to play with her. I’ve been busy buying art supplies and board games and toys! We will definitely go to the playground. I know just how you feel! … And you are very cute on that pig! 🙂

    1. I sure hope my kids don’t take my grandchildren out of state. If they do, I think I shall buy a travel trailer, put a hitch on my car, and hit the road a couple times a year! I love art supplies, games and toys for kids. I am such a sucker for that stuff!

  8. I’m glad you acted on the desire to ride that pig! That photo is precious and a great one to blackmail your adult children with. It reminds them that Mom can embarrass them anytime she darn well feels like it.


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